


The Association of Moronsexuals

by auguston



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, Humor, M/M, Multi, Read at Your Own Risk, You've been warned, asahi fanonically uses urban dictionary fight me, bless their poor souls, cancerous tiktok imagery, f in the chat, possibly ooc because: crack, this was meant to be an april fools fic but i procrastinated so the next best thing was weed day, this whole thing is just pure crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:54:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23750386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/auguston/pseuds/auguston
Summary: Every April Fool's, an esteemed group of people congregated to form the Association of Moronsexual, where they could freely express their Moronsexuality and irrational love for their significant Morons.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Ennoshita Chikara/Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Haiba Lev/Yaku Morisuke, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 27
Kudos: 250





	The Association of Moronsexuals

Finally, after 365 days, the time had come to convene yet again. 

Every year on April Fool's, there was a unique group of people who came together to discuss their common interest. These people came from far and wide, only to meet on this special occasion (unless they had a practice game but let's not talk about that). Now, at this point you're probably wondering "Why April Fool's?" Well, the answer is simple, because all their boyfriends... were jokes.

A loud "THUMP" sound was made as Akaashi organised his report for the session by straightening the thick stack of paper on the wooden table. As he placed the report down in front of him, he picked up a pair of glasses and slipped them on. 

Using a pen, he tapped the rim of his porcelain teacup gently, speaking in a clear voice, "The Association of Moronsexuals will now come to order. Good morning, fellow Moronsexuals, it is a delight to see you all again on this extremely special, once-a-year occasion. As last year's newly-appointed Club President, I am truly grateful to be able to host this meeting this time round." The people around the table nodded in reply. "Well then, we will start off the meeting by taking attendance."

"Vice President of the Association of Moronsexuals, Iwaizumi Hajime."

"Present," Iwaizumi replied, voice firm as ever.

"Secretary, Yaku Morisuke."

"Present," Yaku answered seriously, a furrow in his brow.

"Treasurer, Azumane Asahi."

"Present," Asahi said.

"And finally, our newest member, Ennoshita Chikara. Welcome to the club, Ennoshita-san, we are glad to have you here with us this year." Akaashi smiled warmly at Ennoshita, who showed a polite smile in return.

[At this point, one might be wondering how exactly Akaashi came to be President. The answer to that can be found in “Akaashi Keiji, The Biggest Moronsexual” the first in the Moronsexual saga, please read it. _Please. Read it. **Read it now.**_ ｡｡゛(ﾉ><)ﾉ]

The Fukurodani setter reached out to switch on the projector on his left, directing the others' attention to the slides projected onto the wall. The first slide read, "The Association of Moronsexuals: 3rd Annual Meeting. _By Akaashi Keiji._ "

"First of all, I would like to congratulate Iwaizumi-san on his amazing streak of over ten years of Moronsexuality, it is truly a great feat! As you all might already know, Iwaizumi-san has been a Moronsexual since his early childhood days, and I believe that we should commend his efforts. Absolutely unbelievable, Iwaizumi-san, a round of applause please," Akaashi said with an admiring look in his eyes, hands moving together to applaud the patient man.

Iwaizumi sighed and responded, "Thanks, Akaashi. Honestly, it hasn't been easy dealing with Oikawa."

"Yeah, we can imagine," Yaku agreed, shaking his head.

"Right?" Iwaizumi replied, brows turned down and mouth wide open with disbelief at the extent of his own Moronsexuality.

"I mean, Oikawa is truly an idiot, through and through! He gets jealous really easily, and I don’t even know why! I’m not the one with an army of fangirls waiting for me and going ‘kya~’ every goddamn time I step into the gym!” Iwaizumi’s eye twitched visibly.

Everyone offered Iwaizumi a grimace, closing their eyes to give a moment of silence in respect for the pitiful Iwaizumi. He had it rough. After a minute had passed, Akaashi clicked his pointer, going to the next slide—"Sharing of experiences by members of The Association of Moronsexuals."

"Iwaizumi-san, would you like to elaborate more on your experience with Oikawa-san this year?" Akaashi prompted, tilting his head towards Aoba Johsai's raven-haired ace.

"I don't even know where to start," Iwaizumi admitted with a click of his tongue.

"You can start from anywhere, we are all Moronsexuals here, we won't judge," Asahi comforted, a knowing look on his face as he recalled all the memories he had of Nishinoya's idiocy. He almost groaned when the flashbacks appeared in his mind. Oddly enough, he also wanted to smile fondly at his remembrance. He truly was a Moronsexual if he wanted to do that, no wonder he was in the Associate of Moronsexuals, he thought.

"Then..." Iwaizumi paused, thinking of which experience to share. Oikawa was too stupid everyday and did too many moronic things for him to pick only _one_. OH! He remembered. "During one of the time-outs in the practice game we had last week, Oikawa's fangirls came by, _as always_ , hmph. And then, they started hollering at him, and- Okay, here's the thing," Iwaizumi's temples almost started throbbing again as he recalled the previous week's events, "They brought a Bluetooth speaker with them and started blasting Hit or Miss."

"Oh god," Ennoshita whispered under his breath. He still remembered the day Nishinoya discovered TikTok and thought it a great idea to introduce it to the whole team. He internally facepalmed. He could already predict what was gonna happen next.

"And, that buffoon hopped on the bandwagon and began TikTok-dancing to the stupid song, of which he decided to end by twerking. Twerking! How can someone be that bimbotic?!" Iwaizumi spread both his hands out as if conveying how absolutely _done_ he was with Oikawa.

Ennoshita pursed his lips. He had been wrong. He utterly underestimated Oikawa's moronicism. When Nishinoya had introduced the entertainment travesty that was the current teen sensation, they had been excited for approximately two weeks before giving up on TikTok fame.

"F." The murmurance of this mournful English letter came from Asahi. Asahi had heard Suga say this to Daichi when Kageyama and Hinata did something dumb, upon further research on the Urban Dictionary, he realised that it was said when paying respects to someone. He thought it would be appropriate in this situation.

"Yeah man, F in the chat," Yaku said as well, shaking his head at how Iwaizumi was forced to deal with that everyday. Lev was a moron but at least he wasn't a bimbo. Iwaizumi was indeed a genuine Moronsexual for still being in love with Oikawa in spite of that.

Time passed fast when the fellow Moronsexuals shared their experiences with their moronic counterparts, and soon, everyone had finished sharing their experiences.

"Thank you for sharing, everyone. Now, moving on to the next section of today's meeting." Akaashi pressed the right button on his clicker. The words "Suggested Solutions On How To Deal With Moron" flashed on the intricately designed slide. Everyone nodded appreciatively, this was a very important section of their yearly meeting. After all, it was this that kept them sane and reduced their brain cell loss rate from interacting with their boyfriends.

"Here are the solutions that I've collated from your responses to the Google form sent out earlier in the year," Akaashi said, pressing the clicker again to show the list of solutions. He took a sip of water and proceeded to narrate the items on the list.

1\. Do not encourage the moronic activities in the _slightest_. Doing so will lead to incredibly disastrous outcomes.  
2\. Tell them to stop being stupid whenever you see them (Note: Only works when your boyfriend listens to you. In most of our situations, this is not the case. 30% chance of working for Ennoshita, if Tanaka is not spurred on by Nishinoya. 10% chance of working for Akaashi, if Kuroo is not conspiring with Bokuto)  
3\. Take precautionary measures to ensure that Moron in question is not able to carry out moronic activities in the first place. Including but not limited to:  
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀i. taping Moron to wall;  
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ii. handcuffing Moron to bed;  
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀iii. working with Moron's mother to lock him in the house and confiscate his phone;  
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀iv. having Coach scold them.  
4\. Telling moron that you will no longer show romantic affection towards him should they continue with other moronic activities (Note: Very effective, works 98% of the time).

All Moronsexuals listened attentively to Akaashi's narration, it was pertinent that they employed some of these techniques in the future. Furious sounds of note-taking could be heard. As Akaashi went on to read the fifth proposed solution, Asahi's hand shot up.

"Akaashi-san, will you be sending us these slides?" Asahi asked seriously.

"Definitely, Asahi-san. I will be forwarding everyone these slides as soon as this meeting concludes," Akaashi replied smoothly, taking this moment to push up his dropping glasses.

Eventually, he finished reading out the solutions. The Moronsexuals were all very exhausted after the long day of learning, but happy that they were able to glean something from the meeting. As usual, it was extremely fruitful. 

"And with that," Akaashi clicked to the next slide, "our annual meeting is adjourned. Thank you for the insightful meeting and stimulating discussion, fellow Moronsexuals. Alas, we must bid each other farewell. Goodbye, everyone, and I hope to see you all again next year."

The five members of the Association of Moronsexuals gave a round of applause as this year's meeting came to an end. As much as they complained about their moronic boyfriends, they had to admit to themselves that spending such a long time without their morons left a void in their hearts... but they would never tell _them_ that, of course. Crazy as it was to say, they were almost looking forward to what stupid things they would do next. Moronsexuals _were_ Moronsexuals, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> uwu Happy (extremely) overdue April Fool's and weed day!!! I hope y'all had a good laugh at this one 〔´∇｀〕and they weren't too out of sorts HAHA


End file.
